Step By Step Guide

We are all very unique and distinct, all beautifully fashioned and shape by none other than our Creator. While it is stated in the Qur’an that it is easy for Allah to bring man back to life after death, peoples’ fingerprints are particularly emphasized: “Yes, We are able to put together in perfect order the very tips of his fingers.” (Qur’an, 75:4) Modern science did not discover the meaning of this until the late 1800s when a Psychologist by the name of Sir Francis Galton developed the first system for classifying and identifying fingerprints discovering that everyone including identical twins have unique fingerprints.

It is documented that Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Messenger (saw) as saying: “No babe is born but upon Fitra. It is his parents who make him a Jew or a Christian or a Polytheist. A person said: Allah’s Messenger, what is your opinion if they were to die before that (before reaching the age of adolescence when they can distinguish between right and wrong)? He said: It is Allah alone Who knows what they would be doing. Sahih Muslim, The Book of Destiny (Kitab-ul-Qadr), 6426)”

As such, we are all born with an innate inclination of tawhid (Oneness), which is encapsulated in our fitra along with compassion, intelligence, ihsan and all other attributes that embody what it is to be human. As such, newborns come in to the world and into their family equipped with certain biological and psychological attributes, which in my opinion can be referred to as a psychological fingerprint. Biological fingerprints attain their final shape before birth and remain the same for a lifetime unless a permanent scar appears. However the psychological fingerprint is vague in nature and lacks definition and predictability.

As the child grows into adulthood the characteristics of the fingerprint become more clearly distinguishable. The newborn will be exposed to billions of stimuli from the family experience that will be used to develop their unique psychological fingerprint. Within this family experience and stimuli selection process, the newborn will not only experience the nurturing care of parents, but will also be flooded with stimuli reflecting the family’s way of life, which will be intertwined with one’s culture, religion, and expectations of the family.

The child quickly begins to select what information he/she perceives from the stimuli that will allow him or her to best reach the goal of finding one’s place in the family and ensuring that his/her needs are met. The child is not only deciding on what stimuli to pay attention to in relation to what seems right for his/her fingerprint, but he/she is also beginning to create a consistent problem solving strategy. The child will use this problem solving strategy, to deal with his/her social relationships (family), work (career), and intimate relationships.

Research notes that by the age of seven the child has developed an internal blueprint or fingerprint which will allow them to navigate throughout life. As such, this manual, by the will of Allah swt is designed to assist you in developing your child’s character and identity as a Muslim so that he/she will be able to navigate him/herself in the system of the world.The best gift to a child by his parents is his proper upbringing. But it can be confusing and daunting with so many theories of good parenting practice to follow along with the ever changing social milieu.

A system is a regularly interacting or interdependent group of items forming a unified whole. For example our body is made up of organs which work together in unison. If any one part of our internal organs is unable to perform its duty – we get sick i.e. our body system starts to fall apart.

If you look around you, everything in this world is part of a system and everything in the system has its own purpose and set of duties it needs to perform so as to ensure things are in unison. For example, have you ever wondered what would happen if the sun decided to have a “sick day” and didn’t rise? Sounds absurd doesn’t it but just think what would happen if the sun did not do what it’s purpose is and ponder at the chaos it would cause.

We need to realize that Allah swt has an organized set of doctrines, ideas, or principles laid out for us. As we know everyone enters this world as a Muslim and it is the greatest blessing of Allah swt that we at the moment continue to believe in the oneness of Allah, the books, angels and messengers, resurrection, day of judgment and heaven and hell (alhumdulillah).

So keeping this in mind we need to realize what that we are included in the broader sense of Allah’s system and the world’s system. The system of the world is designed for us not to think independently. If you ponder over the educational system which is being taught currently on a global scale is not one of independent thought based on logic or reasoning rather it is one of conforming, subservience and acceptance of ideologies without questioning. We are expected to learn, regurgitate the material and are rewarded with success via diplomas and degrees.

As Muslims we are taught the opposite which is to constantly apply principles of logic and reasoning questioning and pondering everything we see or do. If we apply the above principles it will without fail bring you to the realization that we should only be subservient and obedient to Allah swt and conform only to the principles of Islam which will bring us ever lasting success.

So what is our PURPOSE ON EARTH: WORSHIP ALLAH, OBEY HIM AND THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD (saw). Instill in yourself the concept that EVERYTHING in this universe is in the remembrance and obedience of Allah swt EXCEPT Human & Jinn à WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO AGAINST THE ENERGY OF ALLAH’S SYSTEM?

Wake up – WHOSE SYSTEM ARE YOU FOLLOWING? This is a heavy concept. Take a second and ponder at your own self and gage your level of awareness of Allah swt is in your day to day actions and thoughts. The reality is it will be minimal as our minds 90% of the times are operating in autopilot mode, meaning we are awake yet performing our activities of daily living without self-awareness.

Neuroscientists are now able to study the electrical activity of the brain during different phases of consciousness. Research has revealed that the electrical activity of the brain when trying to induce sleep, instead of decreasing actually increases and then “shuts down.” In other words, the mind if over-stimulated closes down. Ponder over those who use alcohol or drugs or experience a seizure, there is surge in activity in the brain with a period of unawareness of one’s action.

So to re-iterate if your mind is over stimulated it will shut down and you will be unaware of your actions. We all unfortunately are victim to this as we are living in a society which bombards us with stimulation on a constant basis whether it be the internet, television, billboards, lights and so forth. I like to give the example of the colloquially termed saying “Las Vegas, The City That Never Sleeps” and to add to this it is stated “What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.” What do they mean by this? Now that you understand how the human mind operates are you able to see that tremendous research, effort and money has been spent in ensuring that your mind is overstimulated while in Las Vegas to the degree that you may be put in an induced coma and you no longer are aware of your day to day actions?

So let’s take a moment and process how our mind copes with all the stimuli in daily life. How do you think your brain is coping with the plethora of stimulation around you? How aware are you of your surroundings, actions and thoughts? Whose system are you following – Allah’s or the Worlds? Please truly ponder over the above and realize that the vast majority of us are operating on autopilot as that is how we are designed. Now the key is, is our autopilot mode i.e. our modus operandi in line with the obedience of Allah swt.

With this insight let’s begin our exploration into the development of your child’s identity as a Muslim. In order to ensure our children are developing a healthy identity grounded in the obedience of Allah swt we need to follow these steps:

Educate ourselves and understand what it is that Allah swt expects from us.
Begin to implement the above in our and our children’s lives.
Repeatedly practice and make it a “habit” i.e. it is ingrained in our autopilot mode so if we do not do it one day it feels odd.
Move towards excellence.

Key Concepts:

Understand that your mind is overstimulated which is putting you to sleep
Wake Up.
Become aware of Allah’s presence around you
The way we navigate in this system is by ensuring we are fulfilling the rights of ourselves and others • Your concern should be violating rights versus ensuring your own are met.
Anyone or anything you have violated you will meet again on the Day of Judgement and your good deeds will be taken away.
Worry about preserving your deeds and fulfill the rights on others including humans, animals, governments and so forth.
PERCEPTION — tests, trials custom tailored for us…everything is good.
Internalize the attributes of Allah swt.

The world we are living in is hyperfocused on the present, the here and now. We are blessed to be surrounded with significant advances in technology with knowledge at our fingertips. However such a blessing also results in a world of heedlessness where ones desires control them, patience is a concept seen in past times as impulsivity and ignorance has overtaken us. Throughout the history of time the concept of God has always existed, different versions and paths are present but the core concept in the belief of the unseen and God remained.

We are currently living in an age where this core concept is being challenged and are replaced as follows: MACROSCOPIC VIEW ALLAH OVERSEES ALL A child when he / she enters into the world enters the first system which is their family. Within the family Allah swt has created a system which will allow for harmony with the consolidation of a few key concepts namely: Discipline and Attitude. This will be discussed in the next chapter.

KEY CONCEPTS:

We are living in a system.
View the system from a macro and microscope vantage point i.e. Universe à Earth à Country à Community à Extended Family à Immediate Family.
Every system is governed by Allah swt.
Allah swt has created a specific purpose for each thing.
Understand your purpose.
Understand that the time you have to carry out your purpose is limited.
Instill a sense of URGENCY à TIME IS LIMITED
Learn your purpose and execute it by living a life full of discipline.

Your brain operates by generating patterns of muscle behavior which if not exerted will become flaccid. This flaccidity results in our minds operating in autopilot mode 90% of the time. We need to make a concerted effort to exert consciousness in all of our actions and one example of this is fasting. Fasting allows you to enter into a state of pure consciousness and you may find yourself refraining from certain actions or thoughts which you have become accustomed to do while in autopilot mode.

To make everlasting changes in yourself follow the steps below:

Choose only one to two habits that you want to change.
Create a detailed and specific plan as to how you will change, write it down and put it away.
A couple of days later, return to your plan and begin to refine it. Look at each sentence and ask yourself, “Really? Can I truly do that?”
Find someone who will give you an honest opinion. Have them read your plan and ask them to point out the pieces that seem a little overambitious. This step is imperative as you want to ensure you set yourself up for success.
Now that you have a realistic plan of action, break it down into mini plans which will be your implementation intentions.
For example, Mohammad plans to go to the Masjid for Fajr on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday.
Mohammad must make a mini-plan.
For the days that he plans to pray Fajr at the Masjid, he should create a mini-plan the night before.
He could prepare by sleeping early and telling himself: “When the alarm goes off at 3 am, I will say my dua upon rising, get up and shower, get dressed, eat suhūr, and drive to the Masjid.”

Forming a mini-plan seems like such a simple thing but it bridges the gap between wanting to get something done and getting it done. Completion of even one mini goal is a success in itself and most importantly a means of building one’s confidence that eventually the final goal will be achieved. Success comes from being prepared; and being prepared means planning. We all want to succeed with our final goal being Jannat al-Firdous in-shā-Allāh. So the best of us is one who remembers death often, but the wisest is the one who plans for it. I pray as we traverse through the journey of life we transcend to the highest state of spirituality and with Allāh’s permission make the transformation where we will constantly be in a state of submission and humility at all times in-shā-Allāh.